Stress Management

I've always thought of myself as an organized person who can handle stressful and hectic times through the powers of organization.  However in this, my first full year of full-time teaching, I've been having a lot more issues with stress than ever before.   I have so much to do and I feel like no matter how much I get done in one day, there's always more - always another lesson plan to type, always another chair to move, always another scene to block, always a score to study, always grades to input, always another lesson to teach.  In college as a music major, I took pride in the fact that I could run my life ahead of schedule based around my concert and rehearsal obligations.  For some reason I thought I would be prepared for everything that goes along with being the only music teacher in a school and blocking/choreographing/teaching the music for a musical that goes up in November, but alas, that has not been the case no matter how many to-do lists I make.

Last Friday, I literally felt sick during school.  I was cold, I had a headache, and I felt nauseous all day (thank goodness it was sweatshirt/sweatpant day).  I couldn't figure out why, and my occasionally-wise husband said it might have been stress related.  We were supposed to have some close friends over that night and after working choreography at musical rehearsal, I felt no better than I did all day.  As soon as my sister-in-law came over, followed shortly by the rest of our little gathering, I started to feel better.  I knew in the back of my mind that I should be writing plans, choreographing, doing anything but sitting, talking, and eating pizza. I try to relax on the weekends but what usually happens is I kill a whole day with relaxation then get stressed the next day with getting in two days of work into one.  After my Friday night party, I went into the city on Saturday but got my work done in the early afternoon and a little more when I got home.  That mix of work and play didn't make me feel stressed!  The trouble is that it's so hard to rationalize "me time" when the pile of work is over your head.  As I've mentioned before, in college I lived with 5 of my best friends and there was always someone to talk to.  Maybe I was distracted and not quite efficient when writing plans and papers in front of Jeopardy and The Simpsons every night while chatting about nothing with my roomies, but it was that perfect mix of relaxation and work.  

So what else was it that made my college stress so different than this real world stress? My now-two-times-wise husband asked me how I used to blow off steam in college and I said practicing and hanging out with friends.  I took 20 minutes during my precious prep time on Monday to practice in my office and I felt much better for the rest of the day! I started thinking about what made me de-stress last year (not necessarily in college) when I wasn't as frazzled and consistent gym time was a huge part of my life.  I haven't made time for myself to practice, let alone work out for more than maybe a mile run here or there, so I re-joined the gym.  It's great to sit on a stationary bike and let the mind wander.  Again, it is always hard for me to turn off the "I could totally be grading general music projects right now!" alerts in my brain but focusing on my breathing and reading the closed captions on the TV for that half hour is amazing.  

I really hate not feeling in control of aspects of my life. As much as I've always wanted a job where it's me doing band, chorus, general music, and the musical after school and a private studio, having all the control in that sense isn't all it's cracked up to be. I thought that after 2 months, I'd have my act together but I've been swimming up stream all year.  It's really only going to get easier after Thanksgiving but until then, I have to keep finding little moments of "me time" whether it be mindlessly riding a bike at the gym or focusing on an etude.  Even finding time to do a post like this is hard but therapeutic.  

My work will get done and it will be fine...repeat until Thanksgiving. 

My Many Hats

Howdy! Sorry - I'm watching The Voice and a country singer just performed. So things have been crazy since day one! I'm working on the musical (Wizard of Oz, Young Performers' Edition) and band and chorus rehearsals started this week.  I'm excited to be out of the logistics phase and into the actually doing phase.  Speaking of logistics, I'm so very thankful for my parents being music teachers because they were able to help me with my rotating lesson schedule.  As I consistently ask my parents and colleagues for advice and help, I'm always thinking back to what my dad told me once - that he probably shouldn't have been paid for his first year of teaching (okay make that first year of full-time, permanent job teaching). I feel like I'm depending on others a lot, but when it really comes down to it, I am the one doing the teaching.  All the good advice in the world might not make an okay teacher a great teacher so it really is up to me, but it's hard to feel like I know what's going on when...well when I don't.  I had my first informal observation yesterday and the post-observation meeting today.  My supervisor only had 2 main critiques for me and neither had to do with my content and rapport so I'm happy! I guess I'm doing okay, but I'll keep worrying anyway. : )

I've been thinking about the roles that a music teacher plays in a school and in my school, I'm the music teacher.  I wear many hats just like the President does (which I learned in 8th grade history). 

I've been working as a salesman trying to sell kids on staying in band which is difficult in middle school for a bunch of reasons.  Based on what my kids have been telling me, issues rise from the fact that they have their first opportunity to do sports, they feel more academic pressure, and they have more freedom to make their own decision (in cases where their parents were encouraging/forcing them to be in band).  Luckily, almost all of the 6th graders have decided to continue so I'll have a core group of kids that will be "mine" for three years.  

As for chorus, I have a lot of recruiting to do; chorus doesn't always have the same loyalty year to year as a band does, so I have to make sure that I am that thing that kids want to come back to year after year.  I've been going into the lunch periods and talking to the kids every few days.  My numbers from the interest meeting for chorus were small but the kids were all excited.  I'm trying a recruiting strategy that I'll report back on next week.  Rather than having a sign up day and capping the roster at whoever came on that one day, I decided to use those interested students as salesmen (peer pressure FTW). At the interest meeting and pitched how chorus would feature a pop song each concert. I announced that the 6th graders are doing "Count on Me" by Bruno Mars and the 7th and 8th graders are doing "Firework" by Katy Perry which went over really well.  We discussed how even though our rehearsals are short (only about 15 minutes once they all come down to the room) we'll be able to have a big reward with the small time commitment. A big selling point is that I have band and chorus rehearsals during the 20 minute homeroom once a week which allows my sports kids and students with PM commitments outside of school to not be conflicted. From my point of view, it's not a selling point but a drawback to have that little time, but to the kids it's great.  So after I hyped up the program, I asked the students that were there to talk about chorus to their friends and classmates. The deal is that the first rehearsal is open to anyone who wants to come. After 10 minutes working with me and playing singing games, I'll ask the students to decide to sign up or not. Not every kid might be sold on doing chorus especially if they were strong-armed into doing it by a friend, but I'm hedging my bet that they'll have fun with me and want to see me again. Cocky? Maybe. But I think I'm fun so hopefully kids who are on the fence about chorus will think so too and stick around! I'm also going to let kids sign up after the Christmas concert once they have a chance to hear the chorus in action. 

We'll see if I'm any good at selling my program and revving up passion for music! As I said, I'll report back about my end chorus numbers, but for now cross your fingers for me!