Mistakes and Other Updates

I know I said that I wanted to keep this blog positive because it's so hard to see past what we perceive as "bad" things in our lives, but I've been saving up these things to post.  Below is my list of mistakes I made so I won't do it again and neither will you!


Make sure you check all of your school-owned instruments before letting kids play them. 

I feel dumb even typing this for public consumption.  I stupidly assumed that instruments were left in working order in the summer before I was hired.  False.  I found a bari sax mouthpiece that looked like this...

I also found a baritone whose valves were so stuck that no amount of my work could get them loose and a different bari sax that was missing a spring and a key guard on the low C key.  

Don't assume that your students know anything in your first year.

...especially the older they are when you start.  I know that the elementary band director who has them for two years before they come to the middle school teaches them appropriate terminology but a lot of 8th graders claim that they have never heard of dynamics, articulation, or the difference between B-flat and B-natural.  If I had a nickle for every time I had either of these two conversations in a band lesson - "What do we call louds and softs in music?" silence... "It rhymes with sch-my-namics?" silence... Or "What note does the E-flat scale start on?" with the response "E?", I would have a lot of nickles.  I just have to keep the faith that the 6th graders who will have me for three years will be brilliant!

Remember that the winter concert comes way too soon, especially due to how many days school is not in session in November.

I thought that December was so far away and that as long as I picked easy-ish music we could do 3 pieces for both the 6th Grade Band and 7th & 8th Grade Band. False.  Each band is doing 2 pieces and I'm on edge that it's not going to sound like anything but a hot mess.  I even had to cut out the B section from one of the 6th Grade Band pieces which makes me sad but was a necessary move.  In my district and many in NJ, the kids get off an entire week in the beginning of November - 2 days for the NJ Educators Association convention, in-services for 2 days, and that Wednesday is off as well because it would be dumb to have one day of school.  We also had 4 half days that make our normal 15 minutes of rehearsal time cut down to approximately 2 (aka I attempt to have the kids come early but they all forget and less than half the band is there).  Then there's Thanksgiving and Black Friday...then December 11th happens.  In comparison, the spring concert will be a breeze in terms of prep time.  Also in my defense, I didn't know the kids and that plus the above assumptions put us behind the 8-ball.

So those are my three big oopsies thus far.  In other world news, my musical went really well! There are many things that I will do differently next year, but for my first time doing a musical (I'm totally not counting the 3-5th grade musical I did last year because there were no scene changes, no blocking, and the dances were confined to stepping in place and moving arms) it went well.  My choreography was surprisingly not bad, the staging worked, and the kids had good diction and sang at a healthy volume.  I'm already looking forward to next year and so are the kids, so that's a sign I did something right! For now, I will enjoy being home at a reasonable hour and not being stressed constantly...that is to say I won't be stressed unless I think about my concert. : )

To close, I want to repost a status I wrote about 2 weeks ago.  

I remember junior year when I thought I was on the struggle bus during student teaching. Then senior year was super stressful and my first year of teaching was so busy and I felt unprepared for life. Comparatively those things seem like nothing to how busy and stressed I have been this year. But through everything, I've survived! It puts things in perspective when you think back on what (at the time) were the "hardest" moments of your life and see that now you're doing way more and kicking butt doing it. Exhausted but grateful.

Concerts and Being Let Go

I would like to preface this post by saying that I haven't gotten stress pimples in a long time...until now. But it was worth it. Please do read on, now that the hygiene comments are out of the way.

night of jazz

As I mentioned in my last post, on April 3rd there was a district-wide Night of Jazz which my jazz lab ensemble was part of.  There was very little time for the band on stage, but we were able to run every piece and check balance.  When it was finally time to line up to get on stage for the performance, I had the students in the hallway outside the stage door.  I had never been so frustrated at students ever (until the next Tuesday...more on that in the next section). I calmly asked them to be quiet because there was only a stage door separating them from the audience. Nope. Didn't work.  So then I went to whisper-yelling because it has always been an effective way to strike fear in my heart. I said something along the lines of "I know that your prefrontal cortex is not fully formed yet and it's difficult for you to decide what's right and wrong and what you should or shouldn't do, but right now you should be quiet."  That stifled their conversation for about one minute, then when they stopped concentrating on the fact that they didn't know what a prefrontal cortext was, it was back to normal.  I don't like yelling; I have a really loud voice but I don't like having to use it (remember this for the next paragraph). The overall logistics of the Night of Jazz went smoothly.  5 groups performed and it was only about 2 hours.  All of the kids played really well, especially considering it was the week after spring break!

junior high school spring concert

Our Spring Concert was exactly a week after the jazz concert- April 10th. The two sections of the  8th grade band (and the two sections of 9th grade band but those aren't my students) don't get to meet as a whole until the week of the concert.  My combined rehearsal was scheduled for the day before the concert - Tuesday April 9 - and I was looking forward to hearing the whole 110 piece band together for the first time.  We had 2 periods - about 80 minutes - to work on the pieces, talk logistics for the night of the concert, and to run everything.  I expected to feel uplifted and optimistic after those 80 minutes. Instead, after the kids left I silently stared at my computer screen for a good 5 minutes, contemplating whether or not to cry and just generally thinking "clakdfmspoidfupigjlkj". Three things that didn't help my classroom management efforts were a) it was the first hot day of the year and all the kids were wearing shorts, thus making their brains think "Summer! No more focusing!" b) it was about 90 degrees in the band room c) the kids were excited to see their friends from the other class.  I had to raise my voice and be the "bad guy" way more than I wanted to be. I always like to feel like I'm honest and acting like myself when I'm in front of kids; students of any age can see through you if you're being phony so I strive to have a good relationship with my pupils.  I didn't feel like me when I was yelling and being so stern.  Thank goodness the other band director was in the room to help quiet kids down, get them extra copies of music, and take care of the 3 suddenly broken instruments.  When it was all said and done, I felt bad for treating the kids how I did and felt like I was an ineffective teacher for those 80 minutes.   
On the night of the concert, I had the 8th graders report to the lunch room 45 minutes before the concert started.  It takes waaaay longer to tune 110 kids than one would think, especially when they can't hear you announce that it's time to tune because there are also 90some ninth graders in the same space also playing and talking. My supervisor got me a microphone so the kiddos could hear me a little better, which was really helpful.  The students played very well and I was way more relaxed for this concert than I was for the jazz band concert and way way more relaxed than I was for my one piece when I was student teaching.  The 9th grade percussion ensemble also played really well for me.  I was very happy when it was all over.  

getting my sixty day notice

So going back to how I felt terrible after my rehearsal on Tuesday...I took the time that day to make concert reflection sheets for the kids to do when I would be absent on Thursday for an interview (more on that in a future post).  I left the band room to make photocopies of the reflection sheet and of course half-way through, the photocopier was convinced it was jammed although there was no jam, so I was gone longer than I expected.  That didn't help my daily upset-ed-ness level.  When I got back to the band room, I felt like having no human interaction. However, that plan was thwarted by the fact that the principal was in the room aaaand he was there to see me.  He wanted to go into my office to chat. Great - he must have heard that I yelled at one student in front of everyone and now I'm in trouble. The conversation went something like this. "Am I in trouble?" "No!" "Oh good!" "But I'm here to give you your sixty day notice." "...lolwat?"  

When you're in a leave replacement position, the district has to let you know that you won't be returning with the same contract, so they give you your 60 days.  However, when one has had a trying day and feels that one is an inadequate teacher, one does not want to hear "here's your sixty days!" It's kinda funny in retrospect.  

Overall, I feel good about the concert! I look forward to the rest of the year when we get to work on improvisation, composition, and small ensemble pieces.  

Remember Me? and other questions

hello world. 

I know, long time no post. Like my friend Dana, I've tried to post meaningful things for the last month and a half but I haven't really felt like there was anything of importance.  And being that I like to analyze things in my life, the fact that I haven't wanted to post anything is something to post about. Let me explain.

Teaching kindergarten and 1st grade general music, it's hard to feel like anything I'm doing is groundbreaking, interesting, or worth telling my loyal readers about.  Not that what I'm doing isn't worthwhile or that I'm not into it, but it's just not something to record for all time on this blog.  I think what this stems from is the fact that this is just a stepping stone in my career as a music educator.  I know that I won't be in this district next year (unless something extraordinary happens) because I'm looking for a full time instrumental job and as of right now there aren't any anticipated openings.  I would assume that most educators, like me, want to put their stamp on things and make a lasting difference wherever they are working, but I don't feel like I can do that in my current situation.  

curriculum 

During the original research project that Dana, Devon, and I did, we all grappled with curriculum issues; one of us had difficulties because there was no curriculum and I didn't like the book that the curriculum required me to use. Fast-forward to now and I have a curriculum that I really really have to follow.  Being that my class is the first music class these students have in this district, I need to make sure what I'm teaching aligns with the curriculum so that next year they will be on the right track with whatever teacher they have.  One thing I brought up in a department meeting was that the new kindergarten curriculum (since this is the first year of full day kindergarten, thus the first year of kindergarten music, art, and physical education) is pretty close to the 1st grade curriculum.  For example, both grades need to be able to sing and identify sol and mi.  It's hard to know how far my kindergarteners will go until I continue to assess them.  Will they be able to do what the 1st graders can in terms of sol and mi identification? If they do, won't that mess up the 2nd grade curriculum because these students will be more advanced? Will that end up inflating grades and have all students end up being above grade-level (not that it's bad to have high achieving music students, but we want the curriculum to push the students, right)?  I brought up these questions at a department meeting and no one knew the answer because we all have the same thoughts.  It's just interesting that in real life teaching in a large and successful district, when I thought that teaching within the curriculum would be super easy, it has made me question long-term goals for these students...in a district I won't be teaching long-term...which brings us back to the issue of me feeling like I'm not leaving a lasting mark. Mid-year malaise? I don't know.

on deck

Sorry for that baseball reference - it's just now that the Giants are out, I'm counting down until my next sports disappointment, my beloved NY Mets.  Because we lost days for Sandy, our district has school straight through January 2nd and March 23rd.  No. Days. Off. Needless to say, lots of us teachers will be taking personal and sick days to alleviate the discomfort of that much school. For me, I'll definitely be taking off a few days to go to my state music education conference and for the NAfME All-Eastern conference.  One thing I really liked from one of my instrumental pedagogy classes was the idea of a unit study.  It makes lesson planning easier when it's in big chunks based upon the same idea.  I just finished one that I used for all of December on The Nutcracker.  The kids danced to, drew, listened to, critiqued, compared and contrasted, and watched performances of parts of The Nutcracker.  It hit lots of national standards and was fun for them to learn little by little.  Maybe I like it because it's like watching the next episode in a series - "tune in next class for the dramatic conclusion of the Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy!". But anyway, to get myself through this next long haul, I will most likely be doing a unit on Peter and the Wolf. I know I'll definitely do it for 1st grade, but I have to think about how I'll do it with the little ones. 

Well world,  I feel better having this all down on...paper screen. Happy New Year!! I promise to post more regularly from now on. Let's call it a resolution.

Sandy

Today is the seventh school day that my district has been out due to the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy.  I think everyone knew that this "superstorm" had the potential to bring heavy damage to our state and the eastern seaboard in general, but it's really overwhelming to see exactly what the storm brought.  In these difficult times, I think about my students and how they're coping.  My kindergarteners and first graders are young and probably don't fully understand what happened, but children can pick up on stress in the home and can understand from the tone of voice of the adults around them that something is wrong.  A lot of the district where I teach is still out of power.  The lasting damages of Sandy in my area were caused by all of the trees that fell.  I took a walk around my town on Wednesday (the storm made landfall on Monday night) and there were 100something year old trees that just uprooted.  There wasn't as much rain with this storm as there was with Hurricane Irene but the intense winds were what damaged these old, amazing trees. A large portion of my district is still without power.  It's a very sad situation because it's getting to be pretty cold at night - last night went down below 30 - and without heat it's obviously not easy to be comfortable.  

My finance's parents have a house down the shore on one of the barrier islands.  The ocean and the bay met on every barrier island (meaning the whole island had water on the ground at a point during the storm).  Check out these before and after interactive photos.  The one of Mantoloking is really breathtaking. Look closely and you'll see that there is a new inlet between the bay and the Atlantic there that wasn't there before.  I've driven down those roads that no longer exist hundreds of times. We haven't been able to get down to the beach house to look at any possible damages because there is sand all over the roads, sinkholes in the towns, no power on the island, and houses in the middle of the roads.  The town is slowly letting citizens back to the island, starting by bussing in 90 full-time residents and eventually letting everyone back to check their homes, recover what they can, and winterize the homes since there is no heat.  I am cautiously looking forward to when we are allowed to go back to the house because it means that we can start to recover.  We are so happy that the house is still there because it could have been so much worse.  In the next town over, Ortley Beach, is being called the "ground zero" for damage in this area.  All of these interactive photos are from the island where the house is. 

Despite the difficulties that the shore is facing, we all must be thankful for certain things.  NJ is a strong and resilient state.  The cleanup and rebuilding have begun already and people have been donating their time and energy to help others.  One of the most inspiring things that happened after the storm was a small gesture by a church down the shore.  My cousin Amanda got married the Saturday after the storm hit.  Her house, the church, and the reception hall were all without power.  I was the cantor for the mass and used everything I ever learned about breath support to make sure people could hear me! But more importantly, the ceremony was beautiful.  It was a little chilly...but absolutely beautiful.  The reception had to be postponed to next year and we were expecting to go to the church hall for cake (not the real wedding cake but a sheet cake), but when we all walked in, there were appetizers, drinks, hot food, a dessert table, and a someone with battery-powered iPod speakers.  It was a complete surprise to everyone.  It made the day even more special.  Those small gestures are something that will get everyone through the tough times.  

I look forward to seeing my students again and pray that they will recover from this disaster.