Adapting the Learnings from Year One: Assessing My Knowledge

One of my college roommates wrote a lot of academic papers during undergrad and grad school and it seemed like his profound and insightful writing always had a title with a colon in it.  I figured it might add credibility to my blog if I tried it too.

anyway...

My district has a comprehensive induction (new teacher) program that takes us through our first 4 years in the district - aka until we get tenure.  We attend monthly meetings about best practices, technology, the new evaluation model, etc.  The program started with 2 days of meetings for the 25 newly hired teachers - a lot for a little district! During these meetings, I went between feeling lucky that I knew a lot of the information already and feeling lost and overwhelmed.  I've been reflecting on that as I prepare for the students to come to school tomorrow and I think it's revealed interesting things worth sharing.  Hopefully you, my loyal readers, can get something from this post as well.  

While we were hearing an overview of the new observation and evaluation model (which hasn't been used in the district yet so the administrators have questions about it too), I felt like I had a pretty good grasp on it and wasn't stressed out like some of my colleagues.  Maybe it's because I already heard all of the freaking out in my last district? But when it was time to discuss curriculum, that's when my anxiety started to come into play.  I have no set curriculum for any of my classes which is definitely a blessing and a curse.  Blessing - I get to pick what I do every step of the way in my general music class and in ensembles.  Curse - I have to figure out everything for my general music class soon! This mixture of questioning and confidence (actually "Questioning and Confidence" would have made a good blog title...) kind of makes me feel good.  As a musician, I am inherently critical of myself because I've had to be for my entire musical life - always pushing myself to be better.  That striving for excellence can sometimes make me feel like I'm not succeeding as a teacher/performer...but that feeling lets me know in my heart that I am working and I do care, regardless of how my head perceives it.  When you worry about something it shows you care, so always worry about teaching.

In my first year I learned practical things, like how to use Genesis (an online database where we submit grades, attendance, and starting in January will also host our lesson plans), but I still need to work on figuring out grading schemes.  Being that I don't know exactly what my general music class will look like until I do a start of year assessment with the kids, I can't tell what the grading breakdown will be.  Grading is something that is always challenging, from what I'm gathering.  There are always rubrics to be written (which I actually think is fun) and always new methods of assessment to try out that will shape how grading is done and calculated. I only had to figure out a couple of my own assignments in my last position, but that was basically deciding what category of the already-in-place grading scheme to put them.  So I guess nothing in undergrad can really fully prepare you for the first year of having to hash that all out yourself from stratch.  

And now I will shortly sum up some of the other things I learned versus what still has a floating question mark above my head.

:) - confidence with kids

:/ - confindence when presenting and defending my pullout lesson schedule (more on this later, as it will be a pervasive issue in my first month)

:) - confidence planning

:/ - what am I teaching them?!

:) - picking pieces for band

:/ - picking pieces for a band I know nothing about

:) - teaching chorus

:/ - the changing male voice!!

:) - I know I have resources in my parents, friends, and colleagues

:/ - There's nothing that will make me question that fact - I just have to swallow my pride and not be afraid to ask!

I've been "inside my head" about these things so much lately that I'm excited to jump in with kids.  Soon I won't be able to stress about finding out what the kids know and I'll get into the real nitty gritty planning stages.  I'm excited to meet my students and work on a relationship with the staff because I'm not sure I got off on a good foot with my colleagues today. Let me just say as a cautionary phrase to anyone in any job - be cognizant of being "that guy" who is super resistant to change. In schools, we collaborate for greater student learning and with collaboration comes compromise.  Keep your mind open when someone pitches an idea and remember that not every new thing is scary, not every new thing is permanent, and not every new thing is going to mess up your good old thing. 

Here's to a new school year with new students and new problems (but good problems!) Keep on worrying, teacher friends.  

End.

Hello from the same place where I was when I started this blog - the lovely world of unemployment. Well, that was a moderately pessimistic way to start this post. Anyway here's the scoop. 

Monday was the last day with the kids.  I went to school for just a few hours on Tuesday to sign out and then I went back to my old home school (from when I was doing the part-time gig) to return a book and say hi to my old friends. After student teaching was over, I was really emotional - maybe because it was the end of my first time really teaching in a school and maybe because I had just conducted my first concert which made me realize that teaching was what I was meant to do and I was good at it... Regardless, I knew that there was a chance I'd be emotional on Monday saying bye to the kids but I really wasn't; I was more sad about leaving the colleagues I had grown so close to and about the fact that I don't know where I'm teaching next year. 

I have a few leads about what jobs will be open in the future but only have 1 active application out at the moment. I've had 3 interviews so far and from what I've heard, most districts won't start interviewing again until the middle/end of July. Guess what else is happening in the middle/end of July? My wedding and honeymoon! Sigh/yay. I've had to put in the final paragraph of my cover letter that I'm unavailable for contact between July 20 and 29th and I really hope that it doesn't deter employers from calling me. If not, maybe I can sue for discrimination? I'll work on it. 

I guess I should have some kind of summary of how I felt this year of teaching and what I've learned. Well I already did that kind of thing for my general music gig and I feel like I've already been keeping up with what I've learned in the band gig, but here goes. Alls I really knows is I'm a good teacher and I want nothing else in the world than to teach. I also stand by the fact that if you have good rapport with the kids and stay true to your personality at any age level they will work with you.  Being real with kids helps them achieve more so why not be yourself? Yeah I guess those are my nuggets of wisdom from junior high band. 

Here's hoping I'll report back soon with a job.

Concerts and Being Let Go

I would like to preface this post by saying that I haven't gotten stress pimples in a long time...until now. But it was worth it. Please do read on, now that the hygiene comments are out of the way.

night of jazz

As I mentioned in my last post, on April 3rd there was a district-wide Night of Jazz which my jazz lab ensemble was part of.  There was very little time for the band on stage, but we were able to run every piece and check balance.  When it was finally time to line up to get on stage for the performance, I had the students in the hallway outside the stage door.  I had never been so frustrated at students ever (until the next Tuesday...more on that in the next section). I calmly asked them to be quiet because there was only a stage door separating them from the audience. Nope. Didn't work.  So then I went to whisper-yelling because it has always been an effective way to strike fear in my heart. I said something along the lines of "I know that your prefrontal cortex is not fully formed yet and it's difficult for you to decide what's right and wrong and what you should or shouldn't do, but right now you should be quiet."  That stifled their conversation for about one minute, then when they stopped concentrating on the fact that they didn't know what a prefrontal cortext was, it was back to normal.  I don't like yelling; I have a really loud voice but I don't like having to use it (remember this for the next paragraph). The overall logistics of the Night of Jazz went smoothly.  5 groups performed and it was only about 2 hours.  All of the kids played really well, especially considering it was the week after spring break!

junior high school spring concert

Our Spring Concert was exactly a week after the jazz concert- April 10th. The two sections of the  8th grade band (and the two sections of 9th grade band but those aren't my students) don't get to meet as a whole until the week of the concert.  My combined rehearsal was scheduled for the day before the concert - Tuesday April 9 - and I was looking forward to hearing the whole 110 piece band together for the first time.  We had 2 periods - about 80 minutes - to work on the pieces, talk logistics for the night of the concert, and to run everything.  I expected to feel uplifted and optimistic after those 80 minutes. Instead, after the kids left I silently stared at my computer screen for a good 5 minutes, contemplating whether or not to cry and just generally thinking "clakdfmspoidfupigjlkj". Three things that didn't help my classroom management efforts were a) it was the first hot day of the year and all the kids were wearing shorts, thus making their brains think "Summer! No more focusing!" b) it was about 90 degrees in the band room c) the kids were excited to see their friends from the other class.  I had to raise my voice and be the "bad guy" way more than I wanted to be. I always like to feel like I'm honest and acting like myself when I'm in front of kids; students of any age can see through you if you're being phony so I strive to have a good relationship with my pupils.  I didn't feel like me when I was yelling and being so stern.  Thank goodness the other band director was in the room to help quiet kids down, get them extra copies of music, and take care of the 3 suddenly broken instruments.  When it was all said and done, I felt bad for treating the kids how I did and felt like I was an ineffective teacher for those 80 minutes.   
On the night of the concert, I had the 8th graders report to the lunch room 45 minutes before the concert started.  It takes waaaay longer to tune 110 kids than one would think, especially when they can't hear you announce that it's time to tune because there are also 90some ninth graders in the same space also playing and talking. My supervisor got me a microphone so the kiddos could hear me a little better, which was really helpful.  The students played very well and I was way more relaxed for this concert than I was for the jazz band concert and way way more relaxed than I was for my one piece when I was student teaching.  The 9th grade percussion ensemble also played really well for me.  I was very happy when it was all over.  

getting my sixty day notice

So going back to how I felt terrible after my rehearsal on Tuesday...I took the time that day to make concert reflection sheets for the kids to do when I would be absent on Thursday for an interview (more on that in a future post).  I left the band room to make photocopies of the reflection sheet and of course half-way through, the photocopier was convinced it was jammed although there was no jam, so I was gone longer than I expected.  That didn't help my daily upset-ed-ness level.  When I got back to the band room, I felt like having no human interaction. However, that plan was thwarted by the fact that the principal was in the room aaaand he was there to see me.  He wanted to go into my office to chat. Great - he must have heard that I yelled at one student in front of everyone and now I'm in trouble. The conversation went something like this. "Am I in trouble?" "No!" "Oh good!" "But I'm here to give you your sixty day notice." "...lolwat?"  

When you're in a leave replacement position, the district has to let you know that you won't be returning with the same contract, so they give you your 60 days.  However, when one has had a trying day and feels that one is an inadequate teacher, one does not want to hear "here's your sixty days!" It's kinda funny in retrospect.  

Overall, I feel good about the concert! I look forward to the rest of the year when we get to work on improvisation, composition, and small ensemble pieces.  

The Score After 2 Innings

I'm a little excited for baseball season - can ya tell?!

So I survived the first 2 days at the new job! I love it! Doing rehearsals, small group lessons, lesson plans, etc. has been so intuitive for me.  Being up on the podium (or down off the podium which I did a lot of today) is so easy and planning time has greatly decreased because this is my comfort zone.  I love having an office all to myself. I don't have to go outside the building all day. People know who I am. It's like a whole new world! I also really like how the instrumental music department is set up in this school. The old cafeteria was turned into the band room (we still have the lunch windows behind cabinets to prove it!) so it's large enough for part of the room to be set up for the orchestra and half for the band day.  There are two overhead projectors, 2 computers, 2 whiteboards. The schedule is such that the orchestra has rehearsals when the two band directors are either on prep or have pullout lessons, which occur in the spacious (not being sarcastic, it's huge) instrument storage room. It's nice to always have kids in the room; there are only 20 minutes in the entire day when none of the 3 teachers are scheduled for anything. While the 9th grade band director teaches his band classes, I pull out his brass and percussion kids from rehearsal to do group lessons/percussion ensemble. He teaches his woodwinds by taking them out of their other classes.  The opposite is true for the 8th graders - he takes my woodwinds and percussion and I pull out my 8th grade brass from their classes.  It works nicely and we're very lucky to be able to have it scheduled that way. 

similarities and differences

I realized that it's almost 1 year to the day since I started student teaching. When you student teach, it's important to establish a good rapport with the kids. You should try to become a part of the program yet still make your own decisions and make your own personal statement.  Because I am coming into this job after the students have already established a routine with their other director, I feel almost like I did when I was student teaching...except now I get the whole 40 minutes to myself and don't have to share with my cooperating teacher! Haha.  I'm still trying to get to know the kids - by name and attitude equally. 8th grade is rough. So far, my take on it is that they act like kingergarteners most of the time but view themselves as hot stuff.  I had a discussion with one of my bands yesterday that ended in me calling them "boys and girls" and saying that I hoped I wouldn't have to treat them like the little kids I used to teach.  That class was great today, but the class that gave me no management issues (well few issues) was super chatty.  I mean it's probably because this is the week before spring break and I'm new and they're moody, but I need to figure out a way to get them to respect me a little more and act a little less like children. An obvious difference between student teaching and real life right now is that it's all me in front of the class. Logistics for the concert, getting info to the kids, making sure that everything is set for my ensemble, parent emails/interaction? Me. Thankfully I can ask lots of questions of my colleagues and the fact we share the room is great.  It's still daunting though that I have to write an email to a parent tomorrow. Also attendance and grading are things that have a new level of protocol that I have never dealt with; kids don't cut kindergarten general music like they might do in band and I only did 1 report card for the little ones. 

checking in on real life

Full-time pay checks are great and my bank account and I are looking forward to the first one. My sleeping, gym-ing, and eating schedules are all wonky now - partially because my job report time is now 7:15 when before it was noon (lol), and partially because I'm just beginning the 4th of 5 musicals I'm playing this musical season and that makes me sleepy. But as I mentioned in a status last week, I really can't complain about being tired when I spend all day doing what I love (aka music and eating). Oh and my wedding is in 4 months and my man and I are looking for places to live starting in June. WOAH. Look forward to more posts more frequently since I'm really into what I'm doing now!

Processing Time

long time no blog

I've been trying to think of what profound pieces of information to impart upon the world of the interwebs over the last two-ish weeks.  All I keep thinking is that I am just pushing forward and that I haven't really had time to process what is important to take note of.  Despite this, I'm going to put some of my thoughts down on paper laptop.

opinions of the faculty room

I'm sure we all, as current/potential music educators have heard to stay away from the faculty room! All those teachers do is complain about their kids, about administration, it's crowded, you don't know anyone, yadda yadda yadda. During student teaching, I never set foot in the faculty room (mostly because we ate pie during lunch in the middle school band room and I'm not one to miss out on a baked good) but I did when I substitute taught during semester breaks.  That was a little bit of a different experience because almost everyone in the faculty room was a parent of a friend or was my teacher when I was in school, so it was more of a "How are you?!" type situation than a listening to complaining situation. I don't have a classroom or space to call my own in any of my four schools and since I travel so often and that means I spend a lot of my prep times in the faculty room.  I have found that it is very important for me to have face time in the faculty room because no one really knows me anywhere. I think that for any new teacher, especially music teachers who touch so many students, it is important for you to get a sense of the school community, chat with other teachers, and let them know that you exist when you're in the faculty room.  Yes, sometimes I do overhear a lot of jibberjabbercomplaincomplain, but also sometimes there are cookies and bread with spinach artichoke dip. You take the bad with the good.

observation

I was observed for the first time. It was fine. Real people observations are different than student teaching observations.  When we got observed for student teaching during undergrad, we got instant feedback; our junior year student teaching supervisors gave us written sheets along with the discussions we had in the car on the way to/from the school and senior year, our supervisors met with us as soon as we were done teaching to give feedback.  With this observation of a kindergarten class, my supervisor left as soon as I was done teaching and that was it! I know that I will have a post-observation meeting with him, but hey, I think it went well!

based on our old data...

Okay, that was a very brainy heading. I'll explain. When my two research buddies and I coded our data from our junior student teaching, one thing we discovered was that at one point or another we all felt like we had no idea what we were doing.  To some extent, I still feel like I don't know what I'm doing.  The one thing that I have to keep reminding myself of is that my kindergarteners and first graders have never had music in the public schools before, so sticking with the basics for a while is just fine for them...and me! Some of the other teachers in my district are very well versed in Kodály and that's how they work their lesson plans.  I, on the other hand, had an overview of different methods that included Kodály but that wasn't the main focus.  I'm very happy that I've had a big overview of methods because it's helped my bag of tricks, but I still feel a little like my skill set isn't up to par.  One other thing that has made me feel a little like I don't know what I'm doing is the fact that there are a lot of general music teachers in the 8 district elementary schools, but we aren't covering concepts at the same times. For example, I've already started with rhythm sticks, jingle bells, and tambourines with all of my students but other teachers save that for later.  I talked to my mentor teacher about this and she said to just try it and if it fails, then I know for next time.  It's nice to hear that there is some leniency and that me wanting to try things is okay.  I like that I still feel a little like student teaching, that I can learn about what works as I go and I don't need all the answers.

My dad once told me that he feels like he shouldn't have gotten paid for his first few years of teaching because he didn't know what he was doing.  I thought he was joking, but now I know it's not an exaggeration because I feel the same way! For some reason, I thought that having a job would mean that I felt super confident about everything I was doing - like a job gave me this treasure chest of knowledge that I was unaware of until then.  Nope. 

last but certainly not least, lesson planning

Writing plans for general music is way different than lesson planning for beginning band lessons or high school band. I can very easily open up Essential Elements 2000, turn to the next page, know what will be difficult, and say SWBAT within two seconds, or even open up a score and know what passages you'll have to work.  While the general music teacher editions are full of tons of information and well laid out ideas to teach the kiddies, I don't want to do everything in the same order as the textbook editors want to.  I mean, yeah, we all start with steady beat and high and low, but I've been taking time to get songs from different kindergarten and first grade books across publishers. It also takes a lot of time to tailor the lessons to the short attention span of 5-7 year olds.  The lessons are so full of different activities that it inherently takes longer.  In any lesson planning situation, it behooves you to plan extra just in case but with the little ones, it's especially true.  I'm starting to get more in the flow as get to I know my students, their interests and abilities, but lesson planning for general music is a different beast. 

Now it's time for one more small tidbit of information.  If you don't have time to work out in the morning before school, do an activity with your students that incorporates a workout. For example, the song "I'm Tall, I'm Small", I had students squat down when they sing about being small and then jump up when they're tall.  After doing that approximately 50 times on Monday and 50 times on Tuesday, my legs were KILLING me yesterday. Win.

Ta Ta Ti Ti Ta

Hello again, world! So. A lot has happened since my last post.  I'll try to break it down.

You Bettah Werk.

I've always been goal-oriented and have accomplished almost everything I've set my mind to.  I worked incredibly hard during my undergrad to prepare myself to be the best music teacher I could be when I was let into the real world.  Also, in general, I like to be in control (or at least feel like I'm in control) of my situations.  So I thought that I was setting myself up for success and putting myself somewhat in control of my job search with my hard work. Nope.  By the time September rolled around, I still had no job.  I kept not getting jobs for reasons I never really considered - I wasn't a percussionist, I wasn't a vocalist, I wasn't a brass player, I didn't have experience.  I have always considered myself a well-rounded musician - I have decent piano chops (although I'm not as good as I was when I was 14...), I have a pretty extensive choral music performance background having sung in choirs since I was in 4th grade, I have solo singing experience as a cantor, I'm a good doubler, and I'm really modest.  I'm a good young teacher and, minus the phase in my life when I wanted to be a comedian, teaching is all I've wanted to do.  So when I had no job for legitimate but hard to swallow reasons, it was crushing and made me question pretty much all of my musical life.  It was horrible and I felt really down and out. I know I know, I've heard it a million times and I really do believe it, but when you're in a bad place, it's hard to keep your mind on the idea that everything happens for a reason. 

A New Job (or is it pronounced yob...maybe it's a soft J), A New Identity.

One of the districts where I interviewed had a maternity leave position and since the supervisor was impressed with my teaching and interview the first time, he interviewed me for this position.  It's a part-time (noon - 3:15 every day!) kindergarten and first grade general music job across 4 elementary schools.  I was hired on Tuesday, went to a department-wide in-service day on Wednesday, and taught on Thursday.  It was a really fast turn-around which meant I missed the new teacher orientation day. I didn't know in which rooms I was teaching until I got to each school the day of my classes because I didn't have time in the preceding days to visit each building. I still don't have access to my school email, the online district resources, the class lists, the grading system, haven't signed my contract, or been board approved.

All things considered, the first two days are all I've done so far and I think I'm doing okay! I like the little ones, but I've never taught them music, having not student taught with that age group.  You can't bargain with them; saying "Boys and girls, we have to be able to accomplish this task and listen to our directions or else we can't have fun with the next music game" doesn't go over as well with them as it does with middle/high school kids.  But laying down the rules - using ta ta ti ti ta to get attention, being quiet before entering the room, using a quiet raised hand, etc. seems to have worked so far.  Things that are making me feel better when I start to worry that college has not prepared me for this? Remembering that this is the first year this district is having full day kindergarten means that NONE of my students (K or 1st) have had any in-school music class.  It makes for easier lesson planning thus far because the K and 1st have the same objectives.  One thing that is less in my control is my teaching space.  I was unaware, because of the aforementioned reasons, that I was teaching some kindergartens in their rooms, some in the instrumental music room, some in the general music room. However, I made sure to cover my bases and I planned for the whole first lesson to be a cappella so that I could accomplish my objectives regardless of a CD player, piano, board, or Orff instruments.  I'm looking forward to collaborating more with my mentor teacher and the other K and 1 teachers in the schools I'm at.  I know that even though I only had my one general music methods course, my musical sense will guide me through this phase of my teaching life.  I feel like I'm going to learn more about general music and teaching in general from doing it even part-time then I would have from student teaching for 7 weeks.  I'll check back in with you, my adoring public, after my first full week.  

As for my identity, a funny anecdote.  My fiance and I joined the church choir at the parish we now belong to and Thursday was our first rehearsal.  I asked the choir director what he wanted me to sing because I could do church soprano (aka not super high) or alto (or honestly church tenor because it's not super low and practically alto II range but I didn't mention that because this choir actually has men).  He said soprano because this group has a lot of altos. Thursday was also the first day of school, so in one day, I became 2 things that I pretty much didn't think I'd be at this point in my life - a general music teacher and a soprano.